vrijdag 4 maart 2011
God's gift to women....
Ever heard the phrase: He thinks he is god's gift to women....? Next time, take a hammer and a handful of nails. 'Return to Sender'
zaterdag 5 februari 2011
Can't believe I work here!
Knowledge is my motivator. In Dutch we have this saying: One day without chocolate / dancing / friends is a day I did not fully live, insert whichever noun applies. To me, the saying would be, a day without learning something new is a day I was not fully alive. So, I am a very easy employee to motivate. Just give me the opportunity to learn something new. This means I was having a very good day about two weeks ago when we had a full afternoon of training.
It started very, very well. It started with lunch. So I was one happy little muppet when I walked to the training room, munching on an extra sandwich I managed to grab before walking out of the canteen. The trainer asked our for our assistance and I was very happy to help hanging up some flags. Until..... I spotted 'NLP' on one of the banners. I joked around a bit about putting that one to bed a decade ago and made some very bad jokes that would be even worse in English, therefore I will not repeat. The trainer remained eerily quiet.
The reason for his silence became apparent at the start of the actual training. He was going to introduce us to NLP. He did not even flinch. I looked at my watch. Two more hours of bullshit. I was thinking of the things I could actually be doing that would be more constructive.
I am going to spare you the details of the actual bullshit. After all, this NLP bullshit is just one google search away, knock yourself out. Let me suffice to say it was a mixture of linguistic determinism, incorrect (1970s!!) mapping of the brain, anecdotal 'evidence', arguments from authority, evasive answering and some showmanship. The most important bit of the afternoon was when Mister Boss told us that we will start working with this method.
That evening, worried I may not have been clear enough when I rolled my eyes and made nast comments during the training, I sent an email to Mister Boss. In the email I linked to studies and articles explaing the nature of NLP and basically debunking the nonsense. Thought that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that the school had already made up its mind. In an effort to keep up the appearance of democratic process, we received an email earlier this week asking for our opinion. Mister Boss did not neglect to inform us of his opinion.
For pure entertainment value, let me translate his exact words: "NLP may not be scientifically sound, but it may be a good method regardless". I had, what one might call, an What The Fuck Experience. My colleagues seem to agree, which leads me to question their familiarity with the Dijsselbloem Committe Research. For Dutch readers: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parlementair_onderzoek_onderwijsvernieuwingen
Every cloud has a silver lining. A few afternoons of bullshit training may give me loads of material to blog about!
It started very, very well. It started with lunch. So I was one happy little muppet when I walked to the training room, munching on an extra sandwich I managed to grab before walking out of the canteen. The trainer asked our for our assistance and I was very happy to help hanging up some flags. Until..... I spotted 'NLP' on one of the banners. I joked around a bit about putting that one to bed a decade ago and made some very bad jokes that would be even worse in English, therefore I will not repeat. The trainer remained eerily quiet.
The reason for his silence became apparent at the start of the actual training. He was going to introduce us to NLP. He did not even flinch. I looked at my watch. Two more hours of bullshit. I was thinking of the things I could actually be doing that would be more constructive.
I am going to spare you the details of the actual bullshit. After all, this NLP bullshit is just one google search away, knock yourself out. Let me suffice to say it was a mixture of linguistic determinism, incorrect (1970s!!) mapping of the brain, anecdotal 'evidence', arguments from authority, evasive answering and some showmanship. The most important bit of the afternoon was when Mister Boss told us that we will start working with this method.
That evening, worried I may not have been clear enough when I rolled my eyes and made nast comments during the training, I sent an email to Mister Boss. In the email I linked to studies and articles explaing the nature of NLP and basically debunking the nonsense. Thought that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that the school had already made up its mind. In an effort to keep up the appearance of democratic process, we received an email earlier this week asking for our opinion. Mister Boss did not neglect to inform us of his opinion.
For pure entertainment value, let me translate his exact words: "NLP may not be scientifically sound, but it may be a good method regardless". I had, what one might call, an What The Fuck Experience. My colleagues seem to agree, which leads me to question their familiarity with the Dijsselbloem Committe Research. For Dutch readers: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parlementair_onderzoek_onderwijsvernieuwingen
Every cloud has a silver lining. A few afternoons of bullshit training may give me loads of material to blog about!
dinsdag 11 januari 2011
Do I need a degree to talk to you?
Dit overzicht is niet beschikbaar.
Klik hier om de post te bekijken.
zondag 14 november 2010
Was Jesus happy?
So...... you want me to follow Jesus. I dunno. Was he happy?
Let's have a look at the facts, shall we? He was born in a stable, most likely in a bed made of straw. And probably not the clean kind of straw you see in these Christmas displays. In his first few hours he must have been bloody cold, and he never got proper infant care. The next few years were not much better: persecution, poverty, paternity uncertainty.... according to the Qu'ran, Joseph left the scene, abandoning Mary who was shunned by her neighbours. Can we add 'bullied in school'? If the paintings are in any way realistic, he was the only white kid in class.
Then he goes off the map for a couple of years. We can only guess..... rehab? prison? mental asylum? We simply do not know, until her returns to the scene a good 30 years later, seducing a bunch of men to follow him. He preaches wherever he can, often in parables that people need many, many years of eduction in special pleading to 'understand'. No mention of women, at least not Jesus getting jiggy with any females. Not with the males either, even though he seems to prefer their company. Perhaps a Freudian situation? After all, we cannot deny Jesus had daddy issues.
Did he make jokes? Did he laugh out loud? He seems awfully hormonal and temperamental. One moment he is patient, cares about people, tries to connect with them, the next moment he is running through a temple with a catapult! One time, he abandoned everyone and spent 40 days and nights in the desert, all alone, no food, no drink. Well, that last bit is most likely a fib, nobody can survive that long without water, but still...... nobody to talk to for 40 days and 40 nights, self-imposed punishment? Do you think Jesus was one of those self-mutilating cutters with low self-esteem?
To top it all off, his father then sacrified him to absolve people of sins that they may or may not have committed (yet), to rectify a contract he set up with people who were no longer alive many, many years ago and which he could have amended without nailing his son to the cross. Or was Jesus schizofrenic enough to really be himself and his dad? And if that is the case, why did he feel abandoned by himself when he was hanging on that cross?
Does that sound like a chap we should follow? It sounds more like one of those people who should be hospitalized. Next time someone tells you about Jesus, ask them why nobody helped the lad. Why did nobody step up to the plate and say: "hey, here is a troubled person, in need of help. Let's get him a straight-jacket."
Let's have a look at the facts, shall we? He was born in a stable, most likely in a bed made of straw. And probably not the clean kind of straw you see in these Christmas displays. In his first few hours he must have been bloody cold, and he never got proper infant care. The next few years were not much better: persecution, poverty, paternity uncertainty.... according to the Qu'ran, Joseph left the scene, abandoning Mary who was shunned by her neighbours. Can we add 'bullied in school'? If the paintings are in any way realistic, he was the only white kid in class.
Then he goes off the map for a couple of years. We can only guess..... rehab? prison? mental asylum? We simply do not know, until her returns to the scene a good 30 years later, seducing a bunch of men to follow him. He preaches wherever he can, often in parables that people need many, many years of eduction in special pleading to 'understand'. No mention of women, at least not Jesus getting jiggy with any females. Not with the males either, even though he seems to prefer their company. Perhaps a Freudian situation? After all, we cannot deny Jesus had daddy issues.
Did he make jokes? Did he laugh out loud? He seems awfully hormonal and temperamental. One moment he is patient, cares about people, tries to connect with them, the next moment he is running through a temple with a catapult! One time, he abandoned everyone and spent 40 days and nights in the desert, all alone, no food, no drink. Well, that last bit is most likely a fib, nobody can survive that long without water, but still...... nobody to talk to for 40 days and 40 nights, self-imposed punishment? Do you think Jesus was one of those self-mutilating cutters with low self-esteem?
To top it all off, his father then sacrified him to absolve people of sins that they may or may not have committed (yet), to rectify a contract he set up with people who were no longer alive many, many years ago and which he could have amended without nailing his son to the cross. Or was Jesus schizofrenic enough to really be himself and his dad? And if that is the case, why did he feel abandoned by himself when he was hanging on that cross?
Does that sound like a chap we should follow? It sounds more like one of those people who should be hospitalized. Next time someone tells you about Jesus, ask them why nobody helped the lad. Why did nobody step up to the plate and say: "hey, here is a troubled person, in need of help. Let's get him a straight-jacket."
Misplaced Sympathy
Little Benny sat one evening,
Looking o'er his picture-book:
Suddenly his mother noticed
On his face a troubled look.
He was gazing on a picture,-
'Christians in the early days',
When the cruel tyrant Nero
Harassed them in various ways.
't Was a family of Christians,
Torn by lions fierce and wild,
In the horrible arena,
Which has thus distressed the child.
Thinking it a golden moment
To impress his youthful mind
With our freedom, dearly purchased,
And by martyrs' blood refined,
His good mother told the story
Of their persecutions sore,
While he listened, all attention,
And the picture pondered o'er.
'See, my child, those hungry lions,
How upon the group they fall!
't Is a sight, my precious darling,
That the bravest might appal.'
Then, with little lip a-quiver,
'Mama, look!' says little Benny:
'Little lion in the corner,
Mamma, isn't getting any!'
POEM BY CHARLES HEBER CLARK (1841 - 1915)
zondag 17 oktober 2010
Prophecy
The days are getting shorter, so I am getting the 'almost winter' jitters. I love the winter festivities, and as weird as it may sound coming from an atheist, Christmas is the best party of them all. Not in the baby-jesus-manger-weird-traveling-star kind of way, but in the 'let's-decorate-the-house' and 'eat-lots-of-food' and 'get-together' kind of way. When I was younger, Christmas had a strong competitor in Old Year's Eve, but now it is no longer, since staying up till Midnight lost its magic appeal over the years.
When Christmas is over, we are left with the harsh reality of very short days and very cold weather. The one thing that never fails to pick me up are the New Years Prophecies. The first week of January is the favourite time of year for quacks, religious freaks, mediums and other wanna-be-rich people to make predictions on the next twelve months. Of course, we never hear from these prophecies again when they do not come true and we do not stop hearing about them when they hit the bullseye.
This got me thinking about prophecies. I do not believe in prohecies. But, what if a prophecy was real? Would I be open-minded enough to accept it as true? How can you prove that a prophecy is real?
1. The prophecy needs to predict future events. As simple as it sounds, this rule is broken from time to time.
2. The prophecy needs to be clear. "Something is going to happen in one of the months of the coming year", is not a prophecy. If the claim is not clear and specific, everything can be "predicted" with 20/20 vision. Oooh, that is what was meant by it. Nostradamus is the perfect example. He never predicted Hitler's Third Reich, until people re-read the passage in 1950.
3. The prophecy should contain information that can be checked. Otherwise, it is a pretty lousy prophecy, would you not say?
4. The prophecy cannot be too easily fullfilled. For instance: I predict that tomorrow a red car is going to drive by my house is not a prophecy. In fact, the odds against this happening are greater. There are a number of things that may seem rare at first (earthquakes, wars, gold medals), but when studied closely, they happen every year. They seem rare, because they may not happen in your immediate vicinity, and they are broadcasted on the news.
5. The prophecy should be written down, or recorded in some other form. Otherwise it would be too easy to retract the prophecy or change the wording to fit the actual events.
6. Every line in the prophecy should come true. Otherwise it would be possible to produce a large document with hundreds of phrases. Statistically it would be highly likely that one or two predictions would come true; this however does not mean any foresight was required.
When you come across prophecies, let me know. You can reach me on the email address on the right hand side.
When Christmas is over, we are left with the harsh reality of very short days and very cold weather. The one thing that never fails to pick me up are the New Years Prophecies. The first week of January is the favourite time of year for quacks, religious freaks, mediums and other wanna-be-rich people to make predictions on the next twelve months. Of course, we never hear from these prophecies again when they do not come true and we do not stop hearing about them when they hit the bullseye.
This got me thinking about prophecies. I do not believe in prohecies. But, what if a prophecy was real? Would I be open-minded enough to accept it as true? How can you prove that a prophecy is real?
1. The prophecy needs to predict future events. As simple as it sounds, this rule is broken from time to time.
2. The prophecy needs to be clear. "Something is going to happen in one of the months of the coming year", is not a prophecy. If the claim is not clear and specific, everything can be "predicted" with 20/20 vision. Oooh, that is what was meant by it. Nostradamus is the perfect example. He never predicted Hitler's Third Reich, until people re-read the passage in 1950.
3. The prophecy should contain information that can be checked. Otherwise, it is a pretty lousy prophecy, would you not say?
4. The prophecy cannot be too easily fullfilled. For instance: I predict that tomorrow a red car is going to drive by my house is not a prophecy. In fact, the odds against this happening are greater. There are a number of things that may seem rare at first (earthquakes, wars, gold medals), but when studied closely, they happen every year. They seem rare, because they may not happen in your immediate vicinity, and they are broadcasted on the news.
5. The prophecy should be written down, or recorded in some other form. Otherwise it would be too easy to retract the prophecy or change the wording to fit the actual events.
6. Every line in the prophecy should come true. Otherwise it would be possible to produce a large document with hundreds of phrases. Statistically it would be highly likely that one or two predictions would come true; this however does not mean any foresight was required.
When you come across prophecies, let me know. You can reach me on the email address on the right hand side.
zaterdag 9 oktober 2010
Rapture
If your god had my sense of humour, he would rapture all the atheists, just to see the surprise on their faces.
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