So...... you want me to follow Jesus. I dunno. Was he happy?
Let's have a look at the facts, shall we? He was born in a stable, most likely in a bed made of straw. And probably not the clean kind of straw you see in these Christmas displays. In his first few hours he must have been bloody cold, and he never got proper infant care. The next few years were not much better: persecution, poverty, paternity uncertainty.... according to the Qu'ran, Joseph left the scene, abandoning Mary who was shunned by her neighbours. Can we add 'bullied in school'? If the paintings are in any way realistic, he was the only white kid in class.
Then he goes off the map for a couple of years. We can only guess..... rehab? prison? mental asylum? We simply do not know, until her returns to the scene a good 30 years later, seducing a bunch of men to follow him. He preaches wherever he can, often in parables that people need many, many years of eduction in special pleading to 'understand'. No mention of women, at least not Jesus getting jiggy with any females. Not with the males either, even though he seems to prefer their company. Perhaps a Freudian situation? After all, we cannot deny Jesus had daddy issues.
Did he make jokes? Did he laugh out loud? He seems awfully hormonal and temperamental. One moment he is patient, cares about people, tries to connect with them, the next moment he is running through a temple with a catapult! One time, he abandoned everyone and spent 40 days and nights in the desert, all alone, no food, no drink. Well, that last bit is most likely a fib, nobody can survive that long without water, but still...... nobody to talk to for 40 days and 40 nights, self-imposed punishment? Do you think Jesus was one of those self-mutilating cutters with low self-esteem?
To top it all off, his father then sacrified him to absolve people of sins that they may or may not have committed (yet), to rectify a contract he set up with people who were no longer alive many, many years ago and which he could have amended without nailing his son to the cross. Or was Jesus schizofrenic enough to really be himself and his dad? And if that is the case, why did he feel abandoned by himself when he was hanging on that cross?
Does that sound like a chap we should follow? It sounds more like one of those people who should be hospitalized. Next time someone tells you about Jesus, ask them why nobody helped the lad. Why did nobody step up to the plate and say: "hey, here is a troubled person, in need of help. Let's get him a straight-jacket."
