Open message to psychics

Dear psychics,

Last night the Lord came down from heaven to speak to me. He had a very important message. Actually, he had a very important message for you, but for some mysterious, deep reason he decided to go through me to talk to you. You know how he is, right?

Anyhow, our Lord told me that he had a few concerns about the number of times you guy have been off in the last few months. He said people might get suspicious and could start to think that you are a bunch of frauds. Can't have that of course. What are we going to do if dead people can no longer rely their important message to the living regarding broken keys, teenage accidents or photographs taken decades ago.

Therefore our Lord decided to grant me some special powers. I now have the ability to put my hands on your head and feel which frequency you are using to talk to the dead. If your frequency is off, as our Lord suspects is the case for a lot of you, I have the intuitive knowledge of turning your ears until the spirits are able to get through to you without background noise.

Please get in touch with me, either telepathically or by email. I will work on Mondays and Wednesdays and will charge approximately 20 percent of what you are charging for your shows.

Kind regards,

The psychic tuner